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So I will now start work on June 13, instead of May 23. I think I let myself bend over to my parents. Sigh, at least my supervisor was understanding.

I won't bend over for them this time though, they can't use the NCLEX as an excuse anymore.
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Just got demon's souls on sale! Super excited to play it.
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If I sign a lease this month, they will give me 3 months free rent, which means I don't have to pay a dime until August.

This is huge for me as I've been stressing out about having to pay rent + deposits + move in-fees, and still be able to live until my first paycheck. So, if everything goes as planned I can use my savings for food and gas. Thank the lord.

Now the main problem is my parents, they don't want me moving out. They need someone to take care of my mentally ill little brother, even though they are plenty able to do so themselves (they're both RNs who make tons of money), and they are able to find babysitters if needed. Of course they haven't yet, because I am still here. Granted, I've wasted my life taking care of my little brother, and honestly I am tired. He isn't my responsibility. He's theirs. But they don't want to actually take responsibility for him. And I am honestly worried. Left a bunch of phone numbers of potential resources they could try.

See, that's a big issue, but that's not the real issue here. They don't want to me to leave, because I'd be doing them a disservice. It would be a personal affront to them and others around their social circle (my mother friends' still have their kids living at home even though they're done with school, and they're socially retarded because of that), like I left because I had big disagreement with them. That's what's actually happening, because they don't want me leaving in the first place. I am leaving because I have job there. It's only 40 minutes away from home.

They really just want me at home because it's more convenient for them, I do their housework and their laundry, I cook for them, I buy groceries for them. They are losing a convenient maid, which is sad because I am their daughter.

You know in spite of all that, I really care for my parents and my little brother, my mom at least, dad can fuck off. And I want to do all I can for them. But...enough is enough man.
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My birthday was actually on April 29, but I didn't post about it. lol. So tired after clinical.
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Sure, I left an hour and a half late, and it was actually a shitty and stressful day. But who gives a shit really?
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Today, I was blessed with the sight of having to watch as a duck flopped around a busy street in pain. It's wing and leg were broken, because some asshole ran them over. Half of it's children were roadkill and the other half were actually able to cross the street because I actually stopped for them.

Why would anyone do that? I honestly can't wrap my mind around that kind of cruelty. Luckily, someone stopped and moved him off the street.

I called animal control, though. I hope that poor thing got some help.

RIP Chyna

Apr. 22nd, 2016 05:15 am
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It doesn't matter what she was before and after the WWF. Frankly, I don't give a shit.




She put women's wrestling on the map, and was a great influence to so many worldwide. She was my childhood idol, man.
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nfw I actually do pretty well on the capstone.


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BTW, Zoey Barkow, the best thing about Nurse Jackie.










Literal cinnamon roll.
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Last night, tried to go to bed early, end up waking up at midnight and again at 2:00AM, I needed to be up at 5AM.

Woke up late, thought I lost my ID, spent 30 minutes looking for it. It was stuck in one of the folders in my purse.

Went to clinical, thought I going to be late. Got to the unit at 6:45, forgot my stethoscope in the car.

It's almost 8AM when I get it back, been on my feet for about an hour, meds need to be passed. Patient has breast cancer. Meds are passed, we change her linen, right as we leave, she vomits. Change her again.

Another nurse needs help, I help change her linens. She asks for a needlestick. I do one, another nurse overhears, also asks for a needlestick. That same nurse also asks me to help change his patient's linens. Suddenly it's 7:00PM, nurse still needs to give medications, and finish charting. I can't leave until she leaves. We don't leave until 7:40.

I just got back home, My feet are killing me.

I feel a little stupid, but I guess I learned a lot.

I have to get up early tomorrow though. Sigh.
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I just started Leadership, basically an extended clinical rotation where you work a full 12hr shift. It's not as bad as it sounds, but it does get exhausting. I usually end up showering, then eating, then sleeping right when I return home.

Like both of my preceptors so far. MICU precept is a huge cutie, she talks to herself a lot, calls everyone a "sweetheart", and always says that she's out of it even though she incredibly organized and put together. Neuro precept is a deadpan snarker type, she likes to pretend she rules the roost over at the unit. Though she did orient some of nurses I worked with. So I guess her queen bee attitude is somewhat warranted. She actually really nice and funny though. Pretty good with talking to patients, something I'd like to be better with.

I actually prefer to work with Neuro precept, because she forces me to do everything. Can't learn unless you do in Nursing.

In gaming news, I just finished Dark Souls. Cheesed Gwyn with parrying dagger and the Moonlight Greatsword (new favorite weapon) Killed all the bosses too! Made Kalameet my bitch with sorcery + Bellowing Dragoncrest Ring + Crown of dusk. Some might "that's cheap, you're not playing the game right!" Meanwhile Zweihander +15 + Power Within + Red Tearstone Ring will probably kill the fucker in <10 hits. Not cheap at all!
Since that's done however, hype for Dark Souls 3 is up tenfold, and I don't have a PS4 yet. :( Considering Demon's Souls or SofFS, but I kinda want 60fps, and I don't think you get that with either game on the PS3. :(

THE GOAT

Mar. 22nd, 2016 10:17 pm
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So Yuki Kajuira, the goat anime composer, don't care if she been samey lately.
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It looks nice.

Working on my last ever academic paper for a while. My Capstone. It should be simple, but it not because they are pretty vague about what they want on their paper. "Be specific, " they said. But have it done in less than 10 pages.

Other than that, I spent only $15 on Fatal Frame 1, 2, 3, the first Silent Hill, AND Street Fighter V. Amazon had a pricing error at $10.36 in the very early morning, and I woke up from a nightmare at 4:50. A far less shitty nightmare than the rest of them, I say. I got the rest of the games at the latest flash sale.

Good way to finish Spring Break, I say.
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I decided not to vote today, I thought about it for about 20 minutes in my car. It's been my new favorite place for self-reflection.

To me, every candidate wants to appeal to a base that's horribly close minded and selfish, whether it's a bunch of selfish white kids, or selfish rich old white people, or selfish poor old white people. Anything they say about minorities seems hollow, they seem to be talking about it because the media wants them to. It's gets them ratings and votes, but they don't really care once the election's over. Those people are who they're really trying to talk to.

It's bit sad, because it's exactly like disliking a video game because you don't like the fans.

I'm pretty sad that Obama's leaving.

Nursing School Related: I can't stand my control freak group member, she's wants to do things her way, on her time, and any sort of diversion from that is a personal affront to her. Guess who's doing most of the affronting?
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It's still rad.

The controls are definitely changed from the PS2 version, though. shooting was r1+x in the old version, while it's r1+square now. Just small changes are a little jarring now (especially coming off of The Evil Within), but I am got used to it. Just made it to the castle.

The game has amazing level design, it's something that I missed from The Evil Within, which only really has something to that caliber in Chapter 3. Granted I think that TEW makes up for it somewhat with it's more interesting arsenal (<3 agony crossbow), but RE4 still has melee + knife, so...

The only problem with RE4 is that it doesn't any specific way to kill downed enemies. I think you're suppose to use the down time to complete an objective or get out of there. The game gives you so much ammo that don't really need to do so, however.

Also no quick weapon switching. Those are just minor concerns though.

Whatever. Off to school.
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yas, i'm swimming in nostalgia.
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I would post more, but each class am I taking wants me write them at least four papers. And do tons of group assignments, and study for exams, and go to clinical.

I don't even have the energy to play games. Is that sad?
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Manus is defeated! And I didn't have to ask for help! YESSSS.

Yeah, I'm stubborn. But look, it paid off!

BTW, as of now I have clocked about 130 hours into the game. I still don't have ONE Lord's Soul for the lordvessel. I mean you could probably shave 20 or so hours off the timer since I leave the game idle sometimes. But that's a long time, and I still haven't seen everything the game offers. The game is just so expansive. Especially if you trying to platinum the game.

I think I'll call it quits for a while once I defeat all the bosses. I only have one more optional boss to go. Kalameet. We will see how that goes.

Yeah, best game.
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So they forced us to attend this Recruiting Conference at my Nursing school, it lasted from 8-5. I don't really mind that much, because it was a great opportunity to put my foot in the door. I just wish it didn't last so long. And they didn't give us garbage Mazzio's pizza for lunch.

One recruiter bothered me, though. He just answered my questions with heavily rehearsed answers. Didn't really say much. He actually wrote down his work email to send my resume to. I felt bothered by that though. Like he just did that because he thought I was pretty or something.

I think I am just being a paranoid bitch that's on tumblr too much, and should just take the networking opportunity.

Manus plz

Jan. 28th, 2016 07:18 pm
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I am this close to asking someone for help against Manus. This hurts my pride greatly.
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